miseryghoul:

baaulp:

*holding both hands to the sides of my temple, struggling and sweating. A hotdog (no bun) levitates in front of my face*

Aaaaaaauuuuuuugggghhhh-

*The hotdog rockets forward past my face, splattering on the wall behind me*

*places another hotdog in front of you*

Again.

magearna:

crazymagicbullshit:

wilkodyke:

in this world it’s sleeb or be sleeben

spillybun:

My brain has a tiny Thanos inside who snaps his fingers and erases half my memories at any given moment

dykeofsuburbia:

the three universal truths: we live in a society, women be shopping, men get pegged

a-logical-phallus:

Maybe It’s Mental Ilness, Maybe It’s “I’m Truly And Deeply Flawed On A Visceral Level And Cannot Be Cleansed Of Evil.”

bedupolker:

1.

2.

3.

joshpeck:

my assigned tumblr staff incel seeing the word titty on my blog

uryyybel:

Tumblr headquarters on Dec. 17th

foreverxunstable:

my friend: hey u ok

 me, in a depressive episode:

them: hello

 me, 8 days later: ahsjksk my bad yeah im fine!!! how are YOU tho??!!

c3po:

rcktpwr:

kitfisto:

*stuffs my pussy with oatmeal* breakfast is ready

*hogs squealing*

maybe this is why they’re deleting tumblr

worldsworstfather:

st@ff: no nut november…2!

velvetys:

Me: hey ummm lemme get that pink drink

Starbucks employee: pulls out the carton that says pussy juice adds sugars to it and throws it at my face